the viewers are gonna love this
by sashlery
Summary: Lizzie Bennet Diaries!fic. 'Sit up straight, tuck hair behind ear, focus. Repeat the words that have been stuck in her mouth for a long time now, wedging themselves in between her teeth and under her tongue, stuck up against the roof of her mouth like really annoying, headache inducing peanut butter. "My name is Lizzie Bennet, and I think I like Darcy."'


"Okay, so... you know when you've made a pretty dire mistake? And there's nothing more you could ever want than to fix it, but you're just... not sure how? Things have happened, circumstances have changed, and you don't realize how completely wrong you were until the worst possible moment?"

Sit up straight, tuck hair behind ear, focus. Repeat the words that have been stuck in her mouth for a long time now, wedging themselves in between her teeth and under her tongue, stuck up against the roof of her mouth like really annoying, headache inducing peanut butter. "My name is Lizzie Bennet, and I think I like Darcy."

Lizzie has quite possibly just done something she will regret forever. She thinks it's a little ridiculous that the words feel so foreign, she practiced them with Charlotte a million times, practiced them in front of a mirror a million more times, surely they should come easily by now. But there's a difference between saying them to yourself, to your best friend, and saying them to the entire internet.

"I mean, you know, like like. I think I like like him. Which is really pretty unfortunate." She blinks. "I mean, not that I think it's unfortunate because he's a douchebag, because while he is kind of snobby I feel like calling him a douchebag is a little uncalled for. By unfortunate I mean it's unfortunate that these feelings arise after everything that happened at Collins and Collins." Lizzie cringes.

"And I know you guys are wondering, 'how could your feelings change so abruptly, Lizzie?' and to that I say, they haven't really changed abruptly. It was sort of a process, I think. It started once he gave me the letter and over time the possibility of actually liking him morphed into a reality. I'm not even sure that makes sense. It barely makes sense to me.

"I don't even know if Darcy still watches these, I doubt it seeing as that could be considered incredibly masochistic. But, Darcy, if you see this... yep." She cringes again. "This video's shorter than most, and for that I apologize. Maybe Thursday's video will be extra long to make up for lost time with this one." She goes to turn the camera off and send the footage to Charlotte to edit and post.

-

She's been staying with Jane for about a week now, and she's not sure how long it'll last before her mother calls and demands that she come home. She hopes beyond hope that her parents decide they want a little more time without all three daughters running around so that she can stay a little longer, although honestly she's surprised she hasn't already woken up to a ton of worried voicemails from her mom.

There's a knock on the door to the room she's been filming in, and she can hear Jane's slightly muffled voice from the other side. "Hey, Lizzie? I need to talk to you, could you come sit down with me?"

Lizzie's first thought is that she's being kicked out, but she remembers that this is Jane and that would never happen. She gets up and follows Jane to the kitchen, sits across from her at the table. "Yes?" she prompts, because it looks like Jane's having some trouble getting the words out.

"Well first of all, what do you want for dinner?"

"I don't really care. What did you really want to talk to me about?"

"Okay, uh... you know that I've been talking to Bing again, right? Well, he's having a party at his, uh, estate, and he wants us to come..."

"Okay..." She knows what's coming next, but she still acts like she doesn't in case it's not what she thinks it is.

"Darcy will be there," Jane says, and Lizzie cringes. Hearing the name from someone who is neither her nor Charlotte makes everything seem a bit more real, especially her current feelings on the person in question.

"That's, uh... okay."

"No problems?"

"He'll probably avoid me the whole time anyway." It comes out more bitter than she meant for it to be.

"Right..." Jane gives her a funny look, probably sensing that something's not quite right. "Well, the party is Tuesday night, so I guess if nothing else you might get a good story out of it to tell your viewers."

Lizzie nods, trying to mask her nausea, and that's that.

-

She wears a red dress to the party and tries not to think about the fact that there are at least a few people there who have almost definitely seen her video, and one of them is Caroline Lee. Then there's also the possibility that Darcy's seen it, and she just... doesn't want to think about it.

When she gets there, Jane is immediately pulled away by Bing, so Lizzie just goes and stands in the corner, hoping that she somehow blends in with the walls, so that no one will notice her. But of course someone sees her, and of course it's one of the someones who probably saw her video.

Fitz approaches her with a wide grin on his face, his hair bouncing happily about. "Lizzie! Hey! How are you? Is there... anything you need to talk about?" He's smirking at her and yep he's definitely seen the video.

She just cringes and, feeling a blush rising up her neck to the tips of her ears, avoids eye contact. Maybe if she doesn't respond he'll leave her alone. It doesn't work. "Don't worry, Miss Bennet. He hasn't seen it." She suddenly remembers how much she loves Fitz.

"Oh thank god I just..." if it were possible to keyboard smash with your mouth she would do that. "I wasn't gonna do it, but Charlotte made me, and I thought maybe if I did this overbearing feeling of guilt would go away but it hasn't, and I really hate emotions Fitz I really, really do." He just wraps an arm around her and hugs her in a way that, were it anyone else, would be awkward.

"Not gonna lie, Lizzie. I really considered showing it to him. The only reason I didn't was because I'm a firm believer in not taking the chicken way out, and telling someone you like them via youtube video instead of to their face is totally the chicken way out."

"I take back anything good I've ever said about you," Lizzie says, and Fitz just laughs.

They talk about little things for a while, Fitz covers for her while she abuses the chocolate fountain and if anyone asks her she has no idea where all those cookies went but it was probably Caroline who took them definitely not Fitz.

It works for a while, until Fitz smile falls just a little before getting even bigger and Lizzie feels a tap on her shoulder, followed by a clearing of the throat that could only belong to one person. She turns around slowly, hoping that the pained look on her face somehow translates into a smile, and faces Darcy. "Lizzie," he says. "May I speak with you?" and before allowing her the chance to even respond, he drags her off to a room that is obviously a work office, but has a couch much comfier than furniture in an office should ever be.

"Uh..." she starts, but finds that she has no idea what to say, which is okay because apparently Darcy does.

"I," he says, and takes a deep breath. "am most definitely a masochist." And Lizzie wants to curl up into herself till she just disappears because of course he still watches the videos of course he saw the video of course. There's absolutely no other reason he would say something like that.

She wants to respond with something intelligent but all she can manage is a faint, "Oh my god," and then he kisses her, just a small peck on the lips, something that a lot of people would barely consider a real kiss, but it's enough.

She doesn't want to say she lunges for him because she doesn't want to seem desperate but she kind of lunges for him, and their noses hit and it hurts. A lot. But he just sort of laughs and it's kind of the most beautiful laugh she's ever heard, accompanied by quite possibly the most beautiful smile she's ever seen, and by some form of magic their lips sort of slide together and it's soft and sort of perfect and she can feel his smile against her smile and she thinks, oh, the viewers are gonna love this.

* * *

Welp. First story posted on , folks. I hadn't ventured onto this website for a looooong time (stuck to posting my writing on archiveofourown), and then somehow I was reminded of its existence and thought that it might not hurt to rekindle the romance.


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